Let it go...

How long will we ignore these tears that fall like rain??

How long will this ache deep within us...overwhelm??

Will we suffer forever alone...

Pretending that everything is fine??

...do you feel like screaming yet??

Who ever said holding back...

 Revealing nothing...

 Keeping everything bottled up inside...

Is a good thing??

SHOULD BE SHOT!!!

Just let it go, love...its okay 

Just let it go...

Where can I go???

    Sometimes life is more overwhelming then we can bear on our own. Who do we turn to in these moments? What do we turn to in these moments? We could follow the cliche of the world and take something or do something that will guarantee we remember nothing when we wake up. Oh, and wouldn't that be so much easier then dealing with our problems? Just forget, as simple as that, it never happened. 
We all deal with loss in different ways. We all handle the situations of life with our own uniqueness.  But when our friends are not there to lift us up, when our family is not there to support us...what do we do then? Do we give up or give in?? If it was only that easy. Life doesn't stop or end when we throw in the towel, it keeps going. The sun still rises and morning always seems to come again. That is when we need to find ourselves on our knees. Praying, seeking God for the peace and joy only He can give us. There is a song we sing at my church, "Where could I go but to the Lord" the last verse and chorus goes like this... 

Life here is grand with friends I love so dear

Comfort I get from God's own Word

Yet when I face the chilling hand of death

Where could I go but to the Lord

Where could I go oh where could I go

Seeking a refuge for my soul

Needing a friend to save me in the end

Where could I go but to the Lord

'Death comes to us all' (tribute to Princess Isabel in Braveheart) When the end comes, Will you be ready?? Will you know the one person who can take all your doubts & fears away?? 

Jesus is waiting for you... 

                              With open arms...

Act: Zero Scene: 3

*How it all should have been*

Humph! Smack!

  Could this day get any worse? 

    "Hey, Sorry. I didn't see you there."

    "Obviously..."

    "Here, let me help..." He knelt down and reached for one of her books.

    "I got it! Thanks!" Grabbing it out of his reach.

He watched her, but didn't walk away like she had hoped he would. "Are you new here?"

    "Yes and late." She tried to walk away but he followed her.

    "What class do you have next?" Apparently he was not use to being brushed off. She looked down at her schedule, 

    "Mrs. Fishpaw. AP English."

    "Well, then you are going the wrong way. Come on, I'll show you." He led them back the way they had come. "My name is Luke, by the way."

    "Jade." She replied shortly.

    "Nice to meet you! Here we are..."

    "Great! Bye." And she hurried into the classroom. 

    "Mr. Sleagle, thank you for joining us."

    "No problem, Teach!"

  Jade was beyond embarrassed. he was in the same class!?! She had practically slammed the door in his face. 
 Why was he just standing there? It was creeping her out the way he was looking at her. Jade turned her attention back to to the teacher and tried to ignore him. 

   "My name is Jade Philips. I'm new."

   "Yes, I have your information right here. Take a text book from the back row, take a seat, & then turn in your text to page 8." Mrs. Fishpaw was a nice teacher but she was in a great hurry this morning. "Same goes for you, too, Luke. You know the drill."

  As Jade went towards the back row she saw a bleach blond wave at Luke. "I saved a seat for you, Luke. Right by me..." She said it so suggestively even a deaf person couldn't have missed it.

    "Thanks, Krissie, but I think I'll sit with Jade." There was a collective gasp in the room. Apparently, Krissie wasn't the type of girl who got turned down. 

  Luke sat down next to Jade like they had know each other their whole lives. 

    "You didn't have to do that."

    "I know. But I wanted to."

This boy did call, This boy respected her, and This boy cherished her... 

& SEX was never part of the equation.

Now! What have we learned??

      

Act Zero: Scene: 2

Chicken, Coward, Wimp...

(Yep, that about sums it up)

Same old story that you have heard a hundred times...it has almost become boring to you.

  Charming, slick boy draws innocent, naive girl in with his promises and 'sweet' nature. He has mystery and a wild side that can't be denied. Every man has his castle..or broken down trailer to entice his conquests. 

As always, he can have any girl he wants and he chooses her. Her, with no confidence, no self-esteem, no belief in herself or her worth; she just wants to fit in. She just wants to be wanted. 

I'm ready...I'm ready for a mature relationship. I'm ready for whatever he wants. I think I might...Love him. 

He kissed her slowly like he was tasting her. He took her hand and pulled her into a room...with a bed?? She became very aware about what was about to happen when the back of her knees touched the edge of the bed. 

   I should tell him... Honesty is the best way to begin a relationship like this. He'll only be upset I didn't tell him sooner. He would go slower, he would be more patient with me of he knew. She argued with herself as he tried to unbuckle her pants. 
    "Hey," She pulled back a little, which was virtually impossible to do since she felt trapped between the him and the bed. "I...I just wanted you to know...before we do...this. I'm a virgin." She said it easily not wanting to make a big deal out of it. 
    "You're a WHAT!?!" He jumped away from her like she had just started foaming at the mouth. 
    "It's okay," She said calmly. "Really it is. We are about to start something here and I wanted to be honest with you. We should be able to share everything with each other."
  The look on his face was pure terror! "Yeah. I just remembered..I have something to do. I've got to go. I'll call you...sometime."

Needless to say...he never called. 

Act: Zero Scene:1

This is a short story (literally! 12 pages) I wrote last September...it meant a lot to me, especially the ending, I think I have only showed this to one other person. I hope you grasp my meaning and leave your thoughts and comments below...

Act: Zero

Life in Session

Scene:1 What happened to me...

-girl meets guy...

First day of high school. Everybody is looking at me... I don't have the right clothes or shoes, my back-pack is probably even wrong... I feel like an outsider, no one will look me in the eyes. Why is this so hard?

Humph! Smack!  My books went flying as he ran right into me.

"Whoa! Hey, sorry about that." he smiled & helped me pick up my books...the first smile I had seen all day. 

  Every time he saw me after that he waved & smiled. The popular girls that hung out with his crowd rolled their eyes and said, "What a loser!" behind my back. Yeah,thanks! That's feels great. Like I didn't already know, I don't have a snowballs chance in... I was going to say Hawaii! What did you think I meant??

  He was nice to me...too nice. He paid attention to me...some said I should have seen it coming. He noticed ME!! & unfortunately...he noticed too much. 

  We all know where this is going so lets get to the details of what you really want to hear, what has kept you reading this far, lets get to answers of the questions you are dying to ask....

  

  He was even so nice to me that one day after school he invited me to his house to hang out...

     The most gorgeous, popular guy in school asked ME to his place...?!?How could I say 'No'...??

  & it started just like this...He kissed me. Said he had been thinking about doing that since the first time he saw me. He kissed me again, and again, and again; harder, longer...I couldn't catch my breath.

    "Wait...I have to tell you something..." I said, pushing him away from me.

    "What!?!" he snapped, impatient with the interruption.

    "I'm...a...virgin." she answered barely above a whisper.

   "That's it!?!" He kissed me so hard! And started pulling off my clothes.

  Its amazing how quickly clothes can just...come off. I didn't even know my shirt was off until I felt him...feeling me.

  

 Cold, Hard Truth! it was over before it began.

  When he was done...he got off of me, threw my shirt at me, pulled on his jeans, & said he was late for practice. And then he was gone... the 'trailer' door slamming behind him.

   

    I sat there, for a moment, feeling so guilty and dirty. What had I just done? What had I just given up? I am NOT this stupid, I'm not this naive, I'm not this pathetic!! How could I  have let this happen? I was...hurting when I finally left. That was not what my first time was suppose to be like...it couldn't be!

     Four years of high school passed... He never called me, waved, smiled, or even talked to me again...

There are 3parts to this story, I'll post 1 each week...