Reflection of Daddy

O Heavenly Father

What boundless, incomparable Love

You show me each and everyday

Thank You for being my strength in those times 

I didn't even know I needed it 

& in those times where I had nothing left to give

when I didn't know the tears were falling down, 

Thank You for always being right there to wipe them away 

& hold me in Your arms.

To me my Daddy, Shawn, my earthly father is a reflection of my heavenly Father. They both love me so much & I want to make them both proud. I also know, that no matter what I accomplish on this earth, their greatest joy, their dream for me is to make it to heaven; to spend eternity worshipping and praising the Savior. Happy Father's Day!!! (to the only men in my life haha)   

Surround me

Surround me, O Jesus

I need Your presence,

Filling me without thought, without reason

Each and every day.

I long for Your spirit to overwhelm me

Surround me, now

In Your presence is where I long to be,

 Living and breathing into me Your Will and Your Way.

Consume me with Your fire

Mold me into Your vessel of honor

Surround me with Peace, Comfort, and Joy

I want Your every promise to shine through me

I am Your child...use me for Your glory

Surround me, Strong Tower

Let Your wall of protection build up around me;

For the stones they throw are too sharp and their aim is too true.

Surround me, O Lord

I ask You...

Your Spirit is my Life,

Your Will is my Passion.

Hey! I haven't blogged in a month and I feel horrible about it! haha
My Life has been its typical whirlwind of School, Work, Church, Fam, Friends & LIFE!! With a side of stress this past month; but God is helping me through it. He is always right there surrounding me with His presence and keeping me sane. haha
I miss writing! The ideas and inspiration are all there but the time isn't. I have to keep my priorities straight, so basically I feel completely guilty if I am not studying or doing something for school.
I'm doing the Bible study for our Band/ Prayer meeting this Friday and the topic the Lord has given seems to be a repeat of what Bro. Scott (my pastor) has been preaching on this year. Yes, it does seem like there is a theme at my church this year. The end times, Jesus is coming back! The difference between the Kingdom of God and Church of God etc.
I am Proud, Privileged, & Honoured to a be part of the Church of God; His Bride. Which is what I am going to be talking about on Friday. I wanted to compare the traditions of something blue, new, old, borrowed etc. to the Bride of Jesus...but did I mention I don't have much spare time?? I will be talking about the Bride but from a different angle. This scene keeps rolling around and around in my head. A Martha and Mary kind of scene where Jesus is waiting outside the door and Martha is saying, "Just give me a second, Lord! I've gotta finish these dishes." or "I'll be right there...I'm almost done folding the laundry." I want to be like Mary. Ready to go. Watching and waiting for Jesus to come. I don't want to be overwhelmed by the cares of this life. I what my eyes on Jesus, knowing some day soon He is coming back to take me home.

How GREAT is our God??

How amazing, understanding, patient, and enduring is our God?? That even when our doubts and fears draw us away from Him, He still sticks around to pick us up when we fall. Can such unconditional love ever possibly be understood or even explained??

^"Who is a God like unto thee, that pardoneth iniquity, and passeth by the transgression of the remnant of his heritage? he retaineth not his anger for ever, because he delighteth in mercy. He will turn again, he will have compassion upon us; he will subdue our iniquities; and thou wilt cast all their sins into the depths of the sea." Micah 7:18&19

Every pray we have ever prayed God hears and He remembers them. God's heart isn't like our heart. It doesn't break and then with time; somehow heal itself. God's mind isn't like ours. He doesn't crumble, He doesn't fail, He doesn't forget.
Our minds, our hearts, our bodies have away of repairing themselves and this is exactly how God created us to be.
As humans we forget so easily and in time we forgive. Because it is in our nature to move on; to adapt, to live.

Thank You, Jesus for being exactly who You are.

Attitude

"People may hear your words, but they feel your attitude."
John C. Maxwell

People today are ruled by their feelings. If they feel Angry, Betrayed, or in Love; how they are feeling at that moment when crisis or tragedy comes their way is how they are going to react to the situation.
Step back and think: How are you reacting to everyday situations when your boss is on your back or you have had your feelings hurt by someone you care about (because that is the worst kind of hurt)?? Are you 'killing the messanger'?? Are taking your 'feelings' out on a situation that really doesn't matter??

Attitude. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and I am irritated before I even roll out of bed. I have recognized the signs, so before I ruin my whole day by having a 'bad attitude' I stop and think. What is wrong with me?? What happened that gave be this 'bad attitude'??
My dad calls me the 'Queen of Attitude', and when I am not in the mood for his...helpful advice, I argue. According to my Dad (& this makes complete sense) denying you have an attitude means you do indeed have an attitude.

at·ti·tude
noun
1.manner, disposition, feeling, position, etc., with regard to a person or thing; 
tendency or orientation,especially of the mind:

"A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events and outcomes. It is a catalyst and it sparks extraordinary results.'"
Wade Boggs 

Your attitude can and will define you. So it is up to you, 
Is it is going to be a bad day or a good day??

Impossible not to

A friend text me late last night,

We talked about nothing at all

then out of no where he asked if I missed him, 

he laughed it off like it really didn't matter

but all I could say, 

Was I could I not??

You're Impossible not to miss

How could I not??

You're in my thoughts,

You're in my prayers. 

I have handed you over to God so many times

Knowing He won't let you go even when I give up hope

You have been gone so long...

 & its not just the distance. 

You have been searching for something to fill the emptiness inside you. 

When will you realize that you found that long ago??

All theses years he has just been running from what he already knows.

Romans 14:11 'For it is written, As I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God.'

Testify!

Last Wednesday was a hard day. I was stressed, I was overwhelmed with too many responsibilities; too many iron's in the fire is what my dad would call it.
I knew this was just 'one of those days' and I handled it in the best way I knew how. I could feel God calming me, giving me strength, and peace. I knew with out a doubt that God would take care of it. But even though I was rejoicing in my victorious foundation, the enemy was still trying to steal my victory.
My Dad said that night on the way to church after I told my parents about my day, "At least you'll be safe here, you know nothing bad will happen to you in the next few hours." Oh, the relief that flowed through me when he said this.
During worship service that night I felt Jesus drawing me to His alter. I told Him I was fine, that was trusting Him with this, I already knew He had it in His hands. But still, He wanted me to come. He knew exactly what I NEEDED. It was like running into His arms, I felt His presence surrounding me, holding me, comforting me, and reassuring me. 
I Love my Jesus, He is so good to me. He is more than I will ever deserve.

Forgiveness

How long will I wallow in the filth of my shame??

How long will allow myself to remain in darkness??

I have sinned against You alone.

The one who has loved me the most;

The one who has healed my heart, mind, body, and soul. 

I'm afraid...

Your anger is more than I can bear, 

but I know, I've always known

Your loving kindness lasts forever long.

No matter how I have hurt You

You have never stopped loving me

You have never stopped forgiving me

& all I have to offer You

is a beautiful, broken Hallelujah in praise to You.

 Because, You have never given up on me 

no matter how unworthy I am. 

You have reached through the darkness,

You have pulled me up out of my pit of shame.

Thank You, Lord 

(though I will never understand)

for always fighting for me. 

Sometimes He has to let us fall

Love's not safe at all
Love might let you fall
Love's not easy

But it's good, it's good, it's good

Love will take your time

Love might feel unkind

Love will break you

But it's good, it's good, it's good

I know it's good

Anything good in life's

Gonna take a sacrifice

Everything you need in life

Was given by his sacrifice

I will give it all to you

I will give it all to Christ

He's not safe at all

He might let you fall

He's not easy

But He's good

I know He's good

He will take your time

He might feel unkind

He will break you

But He's good, He's good, He's good

I know He's good
~Sidewalk Prophets

One question: How many times have we fallen on our face only to look up and see Jesus reaching out His hand to pick us up?? And when you look in His eyes He asks you, "Why didn't you let me help you?? Why did you think you had to handle this all on your own?? When I am right here, I am always right here to fight for you. Do you not know how great my Love is for you??"

Live to Encourage

"Okay, when did 'Encouragement' decide to give up, jump off a cliff & drawn itself in some unforgiving body of water?? When did it become acceptable in our society to cut people down and call it 'tough love'?"

I wrote this down in the 'Note' section of  my phone about a month ago and lately I have been hearing a lot of different opinions when it comes to encouragement vs. criticism so I guess now is the perfect time to talk about this.

At our last Youth prayer meeting we studied the first six chapters of Hebrews. In Hebrews 3:13 Paul says, "But exhort (encourage) one another daily, while it is called To day; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin." When our brother's and sister's in the Lord encourage us we know we are not going through this alone. People we love and respect are going through the same things we are. We all face trials and sometimes feel that we can't go on or we can't win this battle; but Praise God we serve a God who fights them all for us. 

Now, Criticism or instruction, as some call it, can be taken in the same way if presented in a loving Christ-like manner. If you're talking down to some one 1. they are not going to listen; it will go in one ear and out the other & 2. if what you were trying to accomplish is to encourage another person try a different approach; each person takes things differently. Some criticism is good, such as, instructive criticism which my dad is the king of so I have learned to take it well. 

When I was a junior in High School I had to give an oral presentation on a huge research paper about Cesarean Sections (C-sections). My grade was a 97% I had done the best in my entire junior class and I even had teachers from my other classes come up to me during the week congratulating me on how well I did. When I got home I was overwhelmingly excited, I couldn't wait to tell anyone who would listen about my good grade. When I told my dad the first thing he said was, "Why didn't you get a hundred?" This might sound like 'talk about criticism!' But I am a lot like my dad so to me this was constructive criticism. I stepped back, thought about what I could do better the next time I had to give an oral report. Each time I got better & each time I volunteered to go first knowing I was ready because I learned something beneficial from each presentation I gave. 

I love to see the look on person's face when I give them a compliment or a word of encouragement & it seemed to be the last thing they were expecting out of their day (which, is sad) & their face just lights up. That in itself is one of the greatest rewards we can receive on this earth; to make someone understand their worth and to show them that they are appreciated. 

It's Not about me

It's Not about me, Lord

It's all about You!

It's not about my dreams and my plans; 

No matter how grand or selfless they may be.

Because, You have dreamed such dreams for me...

that are more passionate and beautiful than I could ever imagine. 

Oh! and the plans You have laid out for me...

they are so great, I am overwhelmed. 

You expect so much from me;

 but You ask for so little.

Your great Love for me has been from the beginning of time,

& it never ends.

Each detail of me, You formed with such care and devotion.

From my blue eyes to my two missing teeth, 

You created me perfect in Your eyes. 

Thank You, for always fighting for me.

Even when I felt I had nothing left to fight for...

You never let me go. 

Jealous much??

The other night my dad asked completely out of the blue and to no one in particular, "How are we going to find Amanda a church of God man?" And I was shocked speechless (which does not happen very often) waving my hands in front of my face like white flags of surrender. The only words that managed to escaped from my lips were, "No, no, no..." Which led into one of our amazing family discussions where we talked about personality characteristics, and Jealousy was brought up.
I believe that Jealous is the worst personality trait any man or woman can have. 
1. it means you do not trust your significant other
2. it means you have no confidence in yourself (don't you know your worth??)
Jealousy is suffocating and degrading. Love is earned, Trust is earned, Respect is earned: and Jealousy destroys all of that.  
On a lighter note:
When I think Jesus being Jealous for me...that's a completely different story. I am honoured and humbled that my Lord and Savior will NOT share me with anyone or anything else. I feel so loved, so wanted when I think about His desire for me to be His alone.
Sidewalk prophets sing a song called 'Keep making me', this is the chours:

"‘Til You are my one desire
‘Til You are my one true love
‘Til You are my breath, my everything
Lord, please keep making me"

And this my prayer and passion, that Jesus be my one desire, my one true love. To never need or want anyone but Him. 

Busted Heart

Lord, my heart is busted,

the shattered pieces are scattered across the floor.

The world has stomped on my heart with its steel-toed boots,

& I don't have the strength to get up off this ground.

Its all too heavy to carry & it weighs me down. 

Hold on to me, Lord!

Put me back together again,

Make me whole, Make me pure

...for You.

Hold me up!

Lift me out of this miry clay I have fallen into...

If this is what it takes for me to learn to trust You

then Lord, Your will be done.

If falling on my face time and time again is what it takes...

If crawling on my knees back to You is what it takes...

Then Lord, Your will be done.

If this is what it takes for me to trust You with my everything

...then let me fall.

As long as every time,

You are the One rescuing me.

"When I see the Blood..."

So...school haha What can one say about starting something new?? For me I feel like I am taking another step towards my future, not knowing where it will lead...but that's called Faith, right?? It has definitely been a challenge so far & I PRAISE God for this challenge. I hope it continues to be challenging no matter what position of a CST (Certified Surgical Technician) I might have someday. This is just another journey, another path I am blessed to walk down with my Lord. 

"When I see the blood, when I see the blood,

When I see the blood, I will pass, I will pass over you."

This is a song we sing at my church & the meaning is so powerful to me; its been on my mind and my heart but I just didn't know how to put it into words. 'When I see the blood...' To some people this is just a reference to when the Israelite children were slaves in Egypt. One night the Death Angel came and when he saw the 'blood' he passed over the house. 

"And the blood shall be to you for a token upon the houses where ye are: and when I see the blood, I will pass over you, and the plague shall not be upon you to destroy you, when I smite the land of Egypt." Exodus 12:13

But to me this is a promise: "When I see the Blood, I will pass over you." That blood is Jesus Christ! That precious, pure blood that was shed on Calvary hill two-thousand years ago has NOT lost its power. My Savior shed His blood to save my soul... can it be explained in any better way?? His blood is my covering, it is my protection. His blood is my Salvation; it saves me from the temptations of the devil, the pressures of this world, and His blood saves me from myself. This world has nothing for me & as I get closer to God that becomes more & more true. Jesus has kept every promise He has ever made to me...why should I go looking somewhere else or to someone else?? They make only shallow promises they can't keep. I know where I belong, & I stand firm on a solid foundation. Like a tree planted by the waters, 'I shall not be moved'. In your name Lord Jesus

the Heart of Worship...

It's time to get back to the basics...of Faith, of Worship, of Praise.
Our pastor ripped us (I say that in the most loving way haha) this Sunday on the music we listen to & how it influences us. I felt emotionally and spiritually beaten-down afterwards but it was exactly what we needed to hear. Music has more influence over us than we would like to believe; but if we would put that passion and drive into finding Christian artists that are on fire for God, that are using their ministry and talent for the Glory of God we wouldn't have such a struggle when it comes to the temptations (musical and otherwise) of this world. 
When I think of singing praises to Jesus and offering my heart in worship I think of David on his harp, while watching his father's sheep writing psalm after psalm in praise, in honor to the One who is worthy. David didn't care if there was good beat, or if the lyrics rhymed. His desire was to pour out his heart to God in the best way he knew how. When did 'Worship' become so complicated?? It's time to come back to the heart of worship that lives inside of us.

"I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about you
It's all about you, Jesus
I'm sorry Lord for the things I've made it
When it's all about you
It's all about you, Jesus"

~Hillsong

I'm not big on resolutions but am determined to travel back to my childhood and re-discover the Christian music and Christian artist my parents 1st brought into our house. Music that touched my soul before I even knew what a soul was. Music that I can worship with, Music that I can listen to in my car as I'm traveling an hour each way to school; that I can feel the sweet Spirit of the Holy Ghost overwhelming me with His presence. Music and Lyrics that can bring me closer to God. 

Thank you Jesus!

I'm getting ready to start school again, to try something new, to once again be forced out of the realms of my comfort zone. But as a person I know this is going to help me grow; especially spiritually.
I am overwhelmed by so many fears and doubts when its come to starting this Surgical Technician program. My philosophy for my life is to find something I love to do, that I ENJOY going to work every morning. I would be so disappointed in myself if I begin this program then discover in a month or so that this is not what I want to do with my life...like I did with the nursing.
But every step of the way my Jesus has been walking with me, quieting my doubts, & taking away my fears. He has worked out so many things in my life, in just the eight days of this new year alone. He has my Provider, my Comforter, my Friend, & my Protector; He has been my Everything. And whats more, I am letting Him be my everything. More & more as I 'grow up' I realize how much I truly do need Him.

Thank you Jesus for being my All & All

"I thank You for believing in me

You've given me Your all

Now I'll never be alone

I thank You

You never stopped loving me

You've held onto my soul

And I'm never letting go

Never letting go"

Rebecca St. James 'I thank you'