Busted Heart

Lord, my heart is busted,

the shattered pieces are scattered across the floor.

The world has stomped on my heart with its steel-toed boots,

& I don't have the strength to get up off this ground.

Its all too heavy to carry & it weighs me down. 

Hold on to me, Lord!

Put me back together again,

Make me whole, Make me pure

...for You.

Hold me up!

Lift me out of this miry clay I have fallen into...

If this is what it takes for me to learn to trust You

then Lord, Your will be done.

If falling on my face time and time again is what it takes...

If crawling on my knees back to You is what it takes...

Then Lord, Your will be done.

If this is what it takes for me to trust You with my everything

...then let me fall.

As long as every time,

You are the One rescuing me.

"When I see the Blood..."

So...school haha What can one say about starting something new?? For me I feel like I am taking another step towards my future, not knowing where it will lead...but that's called Faith, right?? It has definitely been a challenge so far & I PRAISE God for this challenge. I hope it continues to be challenging no matter what position of a CST (Certified Surgical Technician) I might have someday. This is just another journey, another path I am blessed to walk down with my Lord. 

"When I see the blood, when I see the blood,

When I see the blood, I will pass, I will pass over you."

This is a song we sing at my church & the meaning is so powerful to me; its been on my mind and my heart but I just didn't know how to put it into words. 'When I see the blood...' To some people this is just a reference to when the Israelite children were slaves in Egypt. One night the Death Angel came and when he saw the 'blood' he passed over the house. 

"And the blood shall be to you for a token upon the houses where ye are: and when I see the blood, I will pass over you, and the plague shall not be upon you to destroy you, when I smite the land of Egypt." Exodus 12:13

But to me this is a promise: "When I see the Blood, I will pass over you." That blood is Jesus Christ! That precious, pure blood that was shed on Calvary hill two-thousand years ago has NOT lost its power. My Savior shed His blood to save my soul... can it be explained in any better way?? His blood is my covering, it is my protection. His blood is my Salvation; it saves me from the temptations of the devil, the pressures of this world, and His blood saves me from myself. This world has nothing for me & as I get closer to God that becomes more & more true. Jesus has kept every promise He has ever made to me...why should I go looking somewhere else or to someone else?? They make only shallow promises they can't keep. I know where I belong, & I stand firm on a solid foundation. Like a tree planted by the waters, 'I shall not be moved'. In your name Lord Jesus

the Heart of Worship...

It's time to get back to the basics...of Faith, of Worship, of Praise.
Our pastor ripped us (I say that in the most loving way haha) this Sunday on the music we listen to & how it influences us. I felt emotionally and spiritually beaten-down afterwards but it was exactly what we needed to hear. Music has more influence over us than we would like to believe; but if we would put that passion and drive into finding Christian artists that are on fire for God, that are using their ministry and talent for the Glory of God we wouldn't have such a struggle when it comes to the temptations (musical and otherwise) of this world. 
When I think of singing praises to Jesus and offering my heart in worship I think of David on his harp, while watching his father's sheep writing psalm after psalm in praise, in honor to the One who is worthy. David didn't care if there was good beat, or if the lyrics rhymed. His desire was to pour out his heart to God in the best way he knew how. When did 'Worship' become so complicated?? It's time to come back to the heart of worship that lives inside of us.

"I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about you
It's all about you, Jesus
I'm sorry Lord for the things I've made it
When it's all about you
It's all about you, Jesus"

~Hillsong

I'm not big on resolutions but am determined to travel back to my childhood and re-discover the Christian music and Christian artist my parents 1st brought into our house. Music that touched my soul before I even knew what a soul was. Music that I can worship with, Music that I can listen to in my car as I'm traveling an hour each way to school; that I can feel the sweet Spirit of the Holy Ghost overwhelming me with His presence. Music and Lyrics that can bring me closer to God. 

Thank you Jesus!

I'm getting ready to start school again, to try something new, to once again be forced out of the realms of my comfort zone. But as a person I know this is going to help me grow; especially spiritually.
I am overwhelmed by so many fears and doubts when its come to starting this Surgical Technician program. My philosophy for my life is to find something I love to do, that I ENJOY going to work every morning. I would be so disappointed in myself if I begin this program then discover in a month or so that this is not what I want to do with my life...like I did with the nursing.
But every step of the way my Jesus has been walking with me, quieting my doubts, & taking away my fears. He has worked out so many things in my life, in just the eight days of this new year alone. He has my Provider, my Comforter, my Friend, & my Protector; He has been my Everything. And whats more, I am letting Him be my everything. More & more as I 'grow up' I realize how much I truly do need Him.

Thank you Jesus for being my All & All

"I thank You for believing in me

You've given me Your all

Now I'll never be alone

I thank You

You never stopped loving me

You've held onto my soul

And I'm never letting go

Never letting go"

Rebecca St. James 'I thank you'